Today was a very bittersweet day. Cameron slept through the night for the first time. For the first time in almost 8 months I slept through the night as well! I barely slept through the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy with her because I was in pain, and I was so large :) And here we are, Cameron is almost 7 months old. It was wonderful to sleep all night without interruption, but it makes me sad as well. Just another milestone for Cameron, please stop getting bigger baby girl! I know Paul & I are planning on having more babies (hopefully two more!) but with Cameron it feels different. Paul & I tried for over a year to get pregnant with her. Every month I would dread my "time", and hope I was finally pregnant. And each time I would be devastated. I didn't help that at the time many women in our church were pregnant, and all I was hearing about was babies. And seeing new babies, yet I couldn't seem to get pregnant. As I think back on all of this now, I realize how crazy it would have been IF I had gotten pregnant when I had wanted to be. I would have ended up having the baby while Paul & I were living with his parents. And we would have been so super squished! I mean it would have been wonderful to have mom around all the time, (man do I miss all of your help mom!) but I feel like it would have been more hectic. God in His perfect timing answered my prayer for a baby - when He knew I would be ready. I found out I was pregnant with Cameron FIVE days after we bought our house. And I only took the pregnancy test to make sure I WASN'T pregnant. With just buying the house I had been scraping and inhaling powder for our lath & plaster walls. And I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be putting a baby in danger by inhaling things I shouldn't while pregnant. It came as quite a shock to me when the test was positive! I had begun to think I wasn't going to ever get pregnant again. Within hours my dad had weaseled the news out of me and has immediately proclaimed it was a grand-daughter. I have no idea how some women try for years to have babies. Just one year of waiting was hard. My sympathies go out to you. What you go through is heart-wrenching. I believe we as women are hardwired to want babies. We are nurturers, we are givers. Being a mother is so much work, but it is the most rewarding job you will EVER have. I love being a mom, but watching my children grow up is so very hard. I want them to stay little forever.
Isaiah 40:31 says,
"But they that wait upon the Lord
shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
I need to learn to be more patient, I always feel like I need to be in a hurry. And time slips away from us so fast. Lord help me to slow down and enjoy every moment with the children you have given me.
Cameron newborn to six months:
I so relate to this, Naomi. We waited 3 years for Carolyn. I never get when people aren't excited when they find out they're expecting. When you have to wait I think it puts in perspective how much children really are blessings given by God.
ReplyDeleteI also love how you have the progression of Cameron's growth by month. It's amazing how much they change at this age. The basket stays the same, yet they are growing out if it. Another miracle!